A man and a woman were deeply in love. She, being of a religious
nature, had held back the worldly pleasure that he wanted so bad.
In fact, he had never even seen her naked. One day, as they drove
down the freeway, she remarked about his slow driving habits. "I
can't stand it anymore," she told him. "Let's play a game. For every
5 miles per hour over the speed limit you drive, I'll remove one
piece of clothing." He enthusiastically agreed and sped up the car.
He reached the 55 MPH mark, so she took off her blouse. At 60, off
came the pants. At 65 it was her bra and at 70 her panties. Now,
seeing her naked for the first time, and traveling faster than he
ever had before,he became very excited and lost control of the car.
He veered off the road, over an embankment and wrapped the car around
a tree. His girlfriend was thrown clear, but he was trapped. She
tried to pull him free but alas, he was stuck. "Go up to the road and
get help," he said. "But I haven't anything to cover myself with!"
she replied. The man felt around, but could only reach one of his
shoes. "You'll have to put this between your legs to cover it up,"
he told her. So she did as he said and went up to the road for help.
Along came a truck driver. Seeing a naked, crying woman along the
road, he pulled over to hear her story. "My boyfriend, my boyfriend!"
she sobs, "He's stuck and I can't pull him out!" The truck driver,
looking down at the shoe between her legs, replies, "Ma'am, if he's
in that far, I'm afraid there's no hope for him."
A working mother suspected her teenage son of bringing home girls
school. So, one morning she decided to buy a parrot. Entering the
pet store, she asked the owner if he had any talking parrots. He
that he has one that has been in the shop for years and knew
thousands of words. When she asked why the parrot had been there so
long he told her that the parrot was handicapped. It didn't have any
feet. She wondered out loud how he hung on to his perch and the
embarrassed owner told her that the parrot just wrapped his penis
the perch and hung on. Desperate, she bought him anyway and hung the
cage in her son's room. After returning home that night, she was
anxious for answers.
"Did you see anything?" she asked the parrot.
The parrot squawked, "Wrrakk! Your son
brought a beautiful girl home from school!"
The mother was upset by this and asked,
"What else did he do?"
The parrot replied, "Wrrakk! He took off all
of her clothes!"
Now she was REALLY mad and said.
"And then what did you see?"
And the parrot squawked, "Nothing! Wrrakk...
I fell off my perch!"