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Monday, September 05, 2005

Refund FromWal-Mart


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A woman went to a Wal-Mart service counter and tells the clerk
she wants a refund for the Compaq S4020WM she bought because it
won't
boot.
The clerk tells her that he can't give her a refund because she
bought it on 'special'.

Suddenly, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts
screaming! "PINCH MY NIPPLES! PINCH MY NIPPLES! PINCH MY
NIPPLES!"

The befuddled clerk ran away to get the store manager, saying
there was a crazy woman shouting in front of a growing crowd of
customers for him to "PINCH HER NIPPLES!".

The manager goes to the woman and asks, "Ma'am what's wrong?"
She explained the problem with the hp PC 533w, and he too tells
her that He can't give her a refund because she bought it on
special.

Once again, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts
screaming, "PINCH MY NIPPLES! PINCH MY NIPPLES! PINCH MY
NIPPLES!" like?
And in doing so, draws an even bigger crowd!

In shock, the store manager pleads, "Ma'am, why on earth are you
saying that? That's inappropriate!"

In a huff, the woman says, "BECAUSE, I LIKE TO HAVE MY
NIPPLES PINCHED WHEN I'M GETTING SCREWED!"

The crowd broke into applause and her money was quickly
refunded.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was

closed for the night.

They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it

laying, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your
leader."
The gas pump, of course, didn't respond. The younger alien became angry

at the lack of response and the older alien said, "I'd calm down if I

were you"

The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting. Again,

there was no response. Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump's

haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said impatiently, "Greetings,

Earthling. We come in peace. Do not ignore us this way! Take us to your

leader or Iwill fire!"

The older alien warned his comrade saying, "You don't want to do that!
I

don't think you should make him mad." "Rubbish," replied the cocky,

young alien. He aimed his weapon at the pump and opened fire. There was

a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared towards them and blew the

younger alien

off his feet and deposited him a burnt, crumpling mess about 200 yards

away in a cactus patch.

About a half hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he

refocused his three eyes and straightened his bent antenna and looked

dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his

big green head. "What a ferocious creature!" exclaimed the young, fried

alien. "He damn near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?"
The
older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy

friend and replied, "If there's one thing I've learned during my

intergalactic travels, when a guy has a penis he can wrap around
himself

twice and then stick it in his ear, you don't want to mess with him!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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