Sounds like Maxine
An old lady dies and goes to heaven. She's chatting it up with St.
Peter at the Pearly Gates when all of a sudden she hears the most
awful bloodcurdling screams.
"Don't worry about that," says St. Peter, "it's only someone having
the holes put into her shoulder blades for wings."
The old lady looks a little uncomfortable but carries on with the
conversation. Ten minutes later, there are more blood curdling screams
"Oh my God," says the old lady, "now what is happening?" "Not to worry,"
says St. Peter, "She's just having her head drilled to fit the halo."
"I can't do this," says the old lady, "I'm going to hell." "You can't
go there, "says St. Peter. "You'll be raped and sodomized."
"Maybe so," says the old lady, "but I've already got the holes
drilled for that!"
There was once a Sheep Farmer who needed help with his farm ...
especially, the difficult task of castrating some of his inferior male
Sheep to keep them from breeding with the Females.
He hired a Frenchman who didn't speak much English, but was a very good
After the first day, they had successfully castrated 14 sheep and his
French worker was just about to throw away the severed, "parts", when
the Sheep Farmer yelled, "No -- Don't throw those away -- "My Wife
fries them up and we eat them ... they're delicious, and we call them 'Sheep
Later that day, the French hired-hand came in for supper and, indeed,
he hought that the "Sheep Fries" were very tasty.
The next day, they castrated 16 Sheep, and that evening they all
settled down to another supper of "Sheep Fries".
On the third day, however, when the Sheep Farmer came in for supper, he
asked his wife where the French hired-hand was.
"You know, it's the weirdest thing," she said.
"I told Him that since there weren't that many 'Sheep Fries' this
evening, we were also going to have French Fries ... and he ran like
his ass was on fire!"~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~