Giggles err (PG)ated
What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman? Sexual harassment.
What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man? $3.99 a minute.
The local parish had a fairly new priest. He had wonderful,innovative ideas that were, for the most part accepted bythe congregation.His mentor - a "higher ranking" priest came for a visit -to see how he was doing. After looking the parish over,the senior priest said, "Father John, your idea of a drivethrough confessional is wonderful. That makes it soconvenient for your church members. And, Father John,it was a really good idea to have the confessional open 24hours a day, for those who work "shift" work. However,Father John... that flashing neon sign that says:"TOOT and TELL or GO to HELL" ... well, that has GOT TO GO!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway)
Why does mineral water that has trickled through mountains for centuries have a use by date?
Bosses are like legs.When they get to the top, they become asses."
According to a new survey, 1 out of 3 men would not go to a doctor if they had chest pains. With women, it's different. When women have chest pains, 2 out of 3 men pretend to be doctors."
Jay Leno"My neighbor has a circular driveway... He can't get out"
Steven Wright Men ! First they sweep you off your feet - then they hand you the broom!
When your wife asks, "Do I look fat?"The correct response is, "Do I look stupid?"
Did ya hear about that new sushi bar that caters exclusively to lawyers?It's called, Sosumi.Huh?
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like abanana.
I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot
wax,pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out
by the root,and still be afraid of a spider.
We need laws that protect everyone.
Men and women, straights and gays,
regardless of sexual perversion...
ah, persuasion.- Bella Abzug, New York politician
(addressing a rally for the Equal Rights Amendment)
Why do we say Bye Bye...but not Hi Hi
"Hockey is a sport for white men.
Basketball is a sport for blackmen.
Golf is a sport for white men dressed
like black pimps."-- Tiger Woods