A little off the wall humor

Men and women have two distinct views about a wedding. The husband tobe wakes up in the morning, plays a round of golf and counts theminutes until he has to be at the altar. The wife to be, on the otherhand, wakes up in the morning and is panicking. She immediately beginsto organize things, making sure everything is in proper order. In hermind she is repeating what she has to do. "All I have to do is go downthe aisle, get to the altar, and marry him." She repeats this over andover again, until she begins to shorten it to three words which shecontinues to repeat... "Aisle, altar, him." "Aisle, altar, him.""Aisle, altar, him."Now say it fast for 5 seconds

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~An Australian entered a bar and stood beside aScotsman. "Where are you from, pal?" asked theScotsman, after they had chatted for a while."I'm from the finest country in the whole wideworld." Said the Australian."Are you?" said the other, "you have a damnfunny accent for a Scotsman."~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~