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Sunday, November 13, 2005

Toons On Drugs

Toons on Drugs
*Speedy GonzalesHey, c'mon. Was there ever a rodent when Amphetamine
abuse is so obvious? And did you notice, he runs out and gets the food for everyone, but does he ever eat any?
*Elmer Fudd No question, the boy trips on Ecstacy. I mean, listen to that laugh, would you?
*Wile E. Coyote Now here's a total PCP burnout case. Not only does he feel no pain, but he's too brain damaged to know he's licked.
*Yosemite Sam Another Angel Dust suspect. His aggression knows no bounds,but despite being shot by cannons at point blank range, he just gets madder and meaner.
*Snoopy Of course, likes to trip out with grass. Mostly, he's pretty mellowed out, but when he gets his paws on that Hash Oil, hey, its WWI flying Ace time.
*Olive Oyl Probably Dexatrim abuse, maybe some amphetamines. Who is that skinny?! She might even be anorexic, she IS always giving her burger to her friend. One side question, what the heck are Popeye and Brutus thinking? They almost made the list for dating her.
*He-ManThis is an easy one. I mean c'mon. Roid monkey #1. "BY THE POWER OFANABOL!!!!!!" Makes me want to root for Skeletor. Alone in his castle, hitting the weights. And on top of that he even injects the stuff in his pet tiger. Animal Abuse!
*Yogi and Boo Boo We all know what is really in those picnic baskets. They go back to the cave and trip. Another side: Are they gay? I mean, take alook at BooBoo. Not that there's anything wrong with that.....
*Droopy Dog The number one downer abuser in toon land. Can't someone slip him an upper every year or two. The only time I ever saw him happy is when he sees the picture of the babe.
*Dopey (Dwarf)He openly admits it. The other dwarfs deny involvement but they are under investigation. Allegations are that Doc is writing some extra'scripts' for Sneezy and all the guys partaking are afloat.
*Daffy DuckIf he isn't using crack, Marion Barry is clean. He is so wired he bounces around on his head without pain. Blows his beak off all the time. Some symptoms might be from "daffiness" but Haldol wouldn'twork for him.
*ShaggyBy far the #1 suspect. His clothes, his hair, his bad goatee, the boyconverses with dogs. But all of this is nothing until you go to theMunchie Factor. Anybody who averages 9.3 dog treats (scooby snacks)consumed per episode smokes pot. And look at the way he and hisfriends painted that van!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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