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Sunday, December 04, 2005

Giggles (R)ated


Q: Why can't men get Mad Cow Disease?
A: It only attacks the Brain
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Defense Attorney: What is your age?
Little Old Woman: I am 86 years old.
Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you?
Little Old Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.
Defense Attorney: Did you know him?
Little Old Woman: No, but he sure was friendly.
Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down?
Little Old Woman: He started to rub my thigh.
Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?
Little Old Woman: No, I didn't stop him.
Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Woman: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner passed away some 30 years ago.
Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Little Old Woman: He began to rub my breasts..
Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?
Little Old Woman: No, I did not stop him.
Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Woman: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me feel all alive andexcited. I haven't felt that good in years!
Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Little Old Woman: Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just spread my old legs and said to him......"Take me.... young man... Take me!"
Defense Attorney: Did he take you?
Little Old Woman: Hell, no. He just yelled, "April Fool!!"... And that's when I shot the son of a bitch!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An evangelist was delivering a flaming sermon on vice that shook the rafters of the mission. "Listen to me, all you cigarette suckers," he thundered, "all you pipe suckers, all you bottle suckers -"
Just then a high squeaky voice interjected from the back row, "Don't forget us!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor.

2 Comments:

At December 04, 2005 2:36 PM, Blogger TexasFred said...

OK, This is just TOO good.... I am linking you at my place...

Welcome and Merry Christmas...

 
At December 04, 2005 4:04 PM, Blogger Patrick Joubert Conlon said...

Holy cow, Patty. I can't keep up with all your jokes. Send me that bib.

 

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