Google

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Letters To Santa.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Santa,I've written you for three years now asking for a fire truck.Please, I really really want a fire truck this year!Love, Joey
--------
Dear Joey, Let me make it up to you. While you sleep, I'mgonna torch your house. You'll have more fire trucks than you'llknow what to do with.
Santa
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Santa, I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas,
I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.Love, Teddy
--------
Dear Teddy, What-and ruin that hot affair your dad's still having with the babysitter? He's banging her like a screen door in a hurricane, son!Let me get you some nice Legos instead.Santa
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Santa,I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the backdoor.Love, Susan
--------
Dear Susan, Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face. You want to be a kiss-ass? Leave me a glass of Chivas Regal and some Toblerone.Santa
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Santa,What do you do the other 364 days of the year?Are you making toys?Your friend, Thomas
--------
Dear Thomas, All toys get made in China. I have a condo in Vegas,where I spend most my time squeezing cocktail waitresses' asses,and losing all my cash at the craps table. Hey, YOU wanted to know!Santa
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Santa, Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song?Love, Jessica
--------
Dear Jessica, Are you that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do,I'm skipping your house...Santa
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Santa, I really really want a puppy this year.Please please please please PLEASEcould I have one? Love, Timmy
--------T
immy, That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap don't work with me. You're getting a sweater again. Santa
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dearest Santa, We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you getinto our home? Love, Marky
--------
Mark, First, stop calling yourself "Marky," that's why you're getting your ass whipped at school. Secondly, you don't live in a house, that's a low-rent apartment complex you're living in.Thirdly, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window. Sweet Dreams!Santa~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home


Rate this post: (data provided from NewsGator Online)

This That and Frog Hair: Letters To Santa.






Celebrating the Blogs of Summer


 



Word of the Day
Website content provided by The Free Dictionary

Article of the Day
Website content provided by The Free Dictionary

This day in history
Website content provided by The Free Dictionary

Today's birthday
Website content provided by The Free Dictionary

In the News
Website content provided by The Free Dictionary

Quotation of the Day
Website content provided by The Free Dictionary

Match Up
Match each word in the left column with its synonym on the right. When finished, click Answer to see the results. Good luck!

 
Website content provided by The Free Dictionary

Hangman
Website content provided by The Free Dictionary

Google
 
This That and Frog Hair: Letters To Santa.
Enter your Email


Powered by FeedBlitz




Mesothelioma



Join the Blue Ribbon Online Free Speech Campaign
Join the Blue Ribbon Online Free Speech Campaign!