Spring fever (pg)iggles
My garden pond last summer.
Jesse Jackson got out of the shower and was drying off when he looked in the mirror and noticed he was white from the neck up to the top of his head.
In sheer panic and fearing he really was turning white and might have to start working for a living, he called his doctor and told him of his problem.
The doctor advised him to come to his office immediately. After an examination, the doctor mixed a concoction of brown liquid, gave it to Jesse and told him to drink it all.
Jesse did and replied, "that tasted like bull shit!"
The doctor replied, "It was, Jesse. You were a quart low."
Weird Fact According to Playboy, more women talk dirty during sex than men.
Weird Fact An ant's sense of smell is as good as a Dog's.
A husband and wife, both graduate students, recently celebrated the arrival of their first child. At the wife's insistence, they had paid the entire medical bill and were now worried about meeting other payments. They were discussing their sad financial situation one evening when their son demanded a diaper change. As the wife leaned over the baby's crib, I heard her mutter, "The only thing in the house that's paid for, and it leaks."
Want instant cash! Make thousands in just about an hour with my new money making system. Many people have used my system to make money just like that. If you use my system people will practically hand out cash to you! It's JUST THAT EASY!Step 1. Buy a gun.Step 2. Buy a ski mask.Step 3. Borrow your uncle's car.To get Steps 4 thru 10 of this wonderful system send $5 cash to me.
"I can't imagine life without you," she whispered. "I wouldn't want to live without you." She began to weep. "Oh, baby," I said pulling her head to my chest, "don't cry. I hope you never have to live without me, too." She sniffled, wiped her eyes and looked up at me. "What, you want me to die FIRST? You believe could live without me?" "What? No! That's not what I meant...." "Thanks a lot!" she said walking away from me. "Drop dead."