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Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Less Than Exciting


Links
Bob The Builder

http://www.hitentertainment.com/bobthebuilder/
College roommates - messy and sloppy
http://www.collegeroommates.net/warstories.html
Tips and Hints at Dotti's Place
http://waynescomputerworld.com/Dotti/
Free Bird Feeder Plans and Free Birdhouse Plans!
http://www.craftybirds.com/index.html

Best of the West Free CGI Scripts
http://www.best-of-web.com/computer/cgi_scripts_2.shtml
XHTML Testbed
http://riverdrift.com/m1/testbed.shtml
Painted Saw Blades
http://riverdrift.com/p1/blades.shtml

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There was a young man went to the doctor and said he wanted to get married but he was worried about the small size of his member. The doctor advised him to go and stay on a farm, dip his wick in milk several times a day, and have it sucked by a calf. Some months later when they met in the street, the doctor said, "How's your marriage?" "Oh, I didn't get married doctor, I bought a calf instead."
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The missus always attaches a lot of religion to our Thanksgiving celebration. At least that's what I've always thought her intent was -- I mean...with all those burnt offerings and all.
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At a sexual assualt trial the young victim was asked by the D.A. what the defendant said before the alleged assault. Too embarrassed to answer aloud, the victim asked if she could write out the answer, After reading the note the judge instructed the jury foreman to read it and pass it among the rest of the jurors. One juror, who had dozed off, was nudged by the woman juror sitting next to him. He took the note from her and read, "I'm going to screw you like you've never been screwed before." The juror smiled at the woman and slipped the note in his pocket. "Will juror number 12 please pass the note to me!" ordered the judge. "I can't, Your Honor," the juror answered. "It's personal."
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A woman walks into the butcher shop just before closing. She says, "Thank Heavens I've made it in time! Have you any turkey?" The butcher opens his fridge and takes out his only turkey, and plops it onto the scale. It weighs 4 1/2 pounds. "Ah, haven't you anything bigger?" the woman inquires. The butcher returns the turkey to the fridge, takes it out again, and plops it onto the scale, only this time, he keeps his thumb on the turkey. The scale shows 7 1/4 pounds. "Marvelous!" says the woman. "I'll have both of them please."
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Lying down on the psychiatrist's couch, the young man said to the doctor, "I wanted to see you because I think I am gay." "Oh?" said the doctor. "And what makes you think that?" "Well, my grandfather was gay, and so was my father." "That doesn't mean you're gay," said the psychiatrist. "We don't believe that homosexuality is hereditary." "Maybe not, but my two brothers are also gay." "Really?" said the doctor, intrigued. "That's right. And so are my two uncles and my cousin." "That IS uncanny," said the psychiatrist, his interest greatly piqued. "Tell me, isn't there anyone in your family who has sex with women?" "Yes, sir," the young man said. "My sister..."
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A long-haired youth was hitchhiking through the deep South. He got a ride from a mean-looking redneck trucker. After riding about 30 miles in silence,the youth finally said, "Well, aren't you going to ask me?" "Ask you what?" replied the trucker. "If I'm a boy or a girl," answered the youth. "Don't matter," replied the trucker. "I'm gonna fuck ya' anyway."
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Two blondes are waiting at a bus stop, when a bus pulls up and opens the door. One of the blondes leans inside and asks the driver, "Will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?" The bus driver shakes his head and says, "No, I'm Sorry." At this the other blonde leans inside, smiles and twitters, "Will it take ME?"
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Asked "What's the difference between a diplomat and a lady?" the reply came: If a diplomat says, "yes," he means "Maybe." If a diplomat says, "Maybe," he means "No." If a diplomat says, "No," he's no diplomat. But on the other hand, If a lady says, "No," she means "Maybe." If a lady says, "Maybe," she means "Yes." If a lady says, "Yes," she's no lady.
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Little Johnny and his dad were on an overcrowded elevator. Suddenly a lady in the front turned around, slapped Little Johnny's dad, and then left in a huff. "That sure is a nasty lady," Little Johnny's dad said. Little Johnny remarked, "I didn't like her either, Daddy. She stepped on my toe, so I pinched her butt."

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Things You Don't Want To Hear From Your New College Roommate
* "No matter what you hear, don't open this trunk"
* "Where should I hang these posters of beloved Pres. Hussein?"

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Weird Fact :
In ancient Greece, throwing an apple to a girl was a way to propose for marriage.. If the girl caught it, that would mean she accepts.

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