NOT THE NEWS
How to Save the Airlines
Replace all female flight attendants with some good-lookin' strippers! What
the hell? The attendants have gotten old and haggard-looking. They don't
even serve food anymore, so what's the loss?
The strippers would double, triple, perhaps quadruple the alcohol consumption
and get a "party atmosphere" going in the cabin. And, of course, every heterosexual
businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women.
Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women.
Hijackings would come to a screeching halt and the airline industry would see record
Why the hell didn't Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do everything myself?
A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make, I'm not a virgin." The husband replies, "That's no big thing in this day and age." The wife continues, "Yeah, I've been with one guy." "Oh yeah? Who was the guy?" "Tiger Woods." "Tiger Woods, the golfer?" "Yeah." "Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him." The husband and wife then make passionate love. When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone. "What are you doing?" asks the wife. The husband says, "I'm hungry, I was going to call room service and get something to eat." "Tiger wouldn't do that." "Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?" "He'd come back to bed and do it a second time." The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love a second time. When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone. "Now what are you doing?" she asks. The husband says, "I'm still hungry so I was going to get room service to get something to eat." "Tiger wouldn't do that." "Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?" "He'd come back to bed and do it again." The guy slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one more time. When they finish he's tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial. The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?" "No! I'm calling Tiger Woods, to find out what the par is for this damn hole."
Weird Fact :
The largest school in the world is City Montessori School in India and has over 25,000 students in grade levels ranging from kindergarten to college.
Johnny wanted to screw a girl in his office.....but she belonged to someone else... One day Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said I'll give you a $1000 dollars if you let me screw you....but the girl said NO. Johnny said I'll be fast, I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, I'll be finished by the time you pick it up. She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend.....so she called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend says ask him for $2000 dollars, pick up the money very fast, he won't even be able to get his pants down. So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call. Finally after 45 minutes the boyfriend calls and asks what happened...... She said "The bastard used pennies."