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Thursday, April 06, 2006

Redneck License



REDNECK DRIVERS LICENSE APPLICATION

Last name: ________________

(Check appropriate box)
First name:
[_] Billy-Bob
[_] Bobby-Sue
[_] Billy-Joe
[_] Bobby-Jo
[_] Billy-Ray
[_] Bobby-Ann
[_] Billy-Sue
[_] Bobby-Lee
[_] Billy-Mae
[_] Bobby-Ellen
[_] Billy-Jack
[_] Bobby-Beth Ann Sue

Age: ____ (approximate)

Sex:
M _____
F _____
Not sure ______

Shoe Size:
____ Left
____ Right

Occupation:
[_] Farmer
[_] Mechanic
[_] Hair Dresser
[_] Waitress
[_] Un-employed
[_] Dirty Politician

Spouse's Name: _______________
2nd Spouse's Name: ____________
3rd Spouse's Name: ____________

Lover's Name: _________________
2nd Lover's Name: ______________

Relationship with spouse:
[_] Sister
[_] Aunt
[_] Brother
[_] Uncle
[_] Mother
[_] Son
[_] Father
[_] Daughter
[_] Cousin
[_] Pet

Number of children living in household:___
Number of children living in shed: ___
Number of children that are yours: ___

Mother's Name: ____________
Father's Name: ____________(If not sure, leave blank)

Education: 1 2 3 4
(Circle highest grade completed)

Do you
[_] own, or
[_] rent your mobile home?

(Check appropriate box)
Vehicles you own and where you keep them:___
Total number of vehicles you own___
Number of vehicles that still crank___
Number of vehicles in front yard___
Number of vehicles in back yard___
Number of vehicles on cement blocks ____

Firearms you own and where you keep them:____
truck ____
kitchen____
bedroom ____
bathroom____
shed___

Model and year of your pickup: ______ 194_

Do you have a gun rack?
[_] Yes
[_] No; If no, please explain:

Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
[_] The National Enquirer
[_] The Globe
[_] TV Guide
[_] Soap Opera Digest
[_] Rifle and Shotgun___

Number of times you've seen a UFO___
Number of times you've seen Elvis___
Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO

How often do you bathe:
[_] Weekly
[_] Monthly
[_] Not Applicable

How many teeth? ___
Color of teeth:
[_] Yellow
[_] Brownish-Yellow
[_] Brown
[_] Black
[_] N/A

Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
[_]Red Man

How far is your home from a paved road?
[_] 1 mile
[_] 2 miles
[_] don't know

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