Friday, May 05, 2006

Down and Dirty Friday/ Eye Candy

A first grade teacher had a small number of children gathered around a table for a reading group. After the story was read she gave the children a work sheet to do. She thought they may have some problems so wanted them to work on it there. She heard a little girl say very softly "damn!". The teacher leaned over and said quietly,"We don't say that in school." The little girl looked at the teacher, her eyes got very big and she said, "Not even when things are all fucked up?!"
The Horse Race In lane
1. Passionate Lady In lane
2. Bare Belly In lane
3. Silk Panties In lane
4. Conscience In lane
5. Jockey Shorts In lane
6. Clean Sheets In lane
7. Thighs In lane
8. Big Dick In lane
9. Heavy Bosom In lane
10.Merry Cherry AAAAAND THEY'RE OFF!!! Conscience is left behind at the gate........ Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry..... Heavy Bosom is being pressured.......... Passionate Lady is caught between Thighs and Big Dick is in a dangerous spot.......... AT THE HALFWAY MARK: It's Bare Belly on top, Thighs open and Big Dick is pressed in..... Heavy Bosom is being pushed hard against Clean Sheets....... Passionate Lady and Thighs are working hard on BareBelly.......... Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Dick........ AT THE STRETCH: Merry Cherry cracks under the strain........ Big Dick is making a final drive........... Big Dick moves inside and Passionate Lady is coming.............. AT THE FINISH: It's Big Dick giving everything he's got....... Passionate Lady takes everything Big Dick has to offer....... It looks like a dead heat but........ Big Dick comes through with one final thrust and wins by a head....... Bare Belly shows....... Thighs weaken....... Heavy Bosom pulls up...... and Clean Sheets never had a chance!
An angel of truth and a dream of fiction,
A woman is a bundle of contradiction,
She's afraid of a wasp, will scream at a mouse,
But will tackle her boyfriend alone in the house.
Sour as vinegar, sweet as a rose,
She'll kiss you one minute, then turn up her nose,
She'll win you in rags, enchant you in silk,
She'll be stronger than brandy, milder than milk;
At times she'll be vengeful, merry, and sad,
She'll hate you like poison, and love you like mad.
Receptionist says to a little old man, that will be a
$5 co-pay please.
He hands her a $20, and she says "Do you have anything
He replies, "Yes, but I'm sure you don't want to see it."

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started.
Her boyfriend asks , "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."
He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then.....", he said with a deep sigh, "Let's put all these Corn Flakes back in the box."


At May 05, 2006 1:49 PM, Blogger Patrick Joubert Conlon said...

That car wash must be in San Fran.

At May 06, 2006 9:05 AM, Blogger Patty said...

Really? I wondered if any of the ladies would comment. I figered they were all liveral charactors. LOL

At May 08, 2006 8:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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