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Wednesday, May 03, 2006

More White Trash Wednesday



What Men Really Mean .....
~ "That's interesting, dear." Really means.... "Are you still talking?"
~ "That's women's work." Really means.... "It's difficult, dirty, and thankless."
~ "What did I do this time?" Really means.... "What did you catch me at?"
~ "Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing." Really means.... "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."
~ "I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are." Really means.... "No one will ever see us alive again."
"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard." Really means.... "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
~ "We share the housework." Really means.... "I make the messes, she cleans them up."
">+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
An 8 year old boy walks home from school each day past an 8 year old
girls house. One day as he is passing by, carrying a football, he
can't resist taunting the girl. He holds up the football and says,
"See this football? Football is a boys game, and only boys can have a
football!".

The little girl runs into the house and cries to her mother, "I want
a football!" Being a woman of the 90's, her mother runs out and gets
her one. The next day the girl is waiting for the little boy and he
rides up on his bike.

She holds up the football... "Nah Na Nah Nah".

The little boy angrily points to his bike and says,
"Oh yeah, well this is a boys bike and only boys get boys bikes and
you can't have one!"

She runs in to mom and the next day is waiting for him on her new
boys bike.

The little boy gets furious and pulls down his pants, and pointing
to his most private of parts says,
"Look, only boys have these and your mom can't buy you one!!!".

The next day he walks by and says to her,
"Well, I guess I showed you!" to which she promptly pulls up her
dress, points to her parts and proclaims "My mother tells me that as
long as I have one of these I can have as many of THOSE as I want!"
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man
walking with his legs spread apart. One of the students said to his
friend: "I'm sure he has Petry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that."
The other student says: "No, I don't think so.. The old man surely has
Zovitzki Syndrome. He walks just as we learned in class."

Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man. They approached
him and one of the students said to him: "We're medical students and
couldn't help but notice the way you walk, but we couldn't agree on the
syndrome you might have. Could you tell us what it is?"

The old man said: "I'll tell you, but first you'll tell me what you think."

One of the students said: "I think it's Petry Syndrome."

The old man said: "You thought.......... but you are wrong."

Then the other student said: "I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome."

The old man said: "You thought.......... but you are wrong.

So they asked him: "Well, what do you have?"

The old man said: "I thought it was GAS........... but I was wrong."
~~#~~#~~#~~#~~~#~~~#
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted,"Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied,"I know you can't, I've cut your arms off".

~~#~~#~EWEEEEEEE~~#~~~#
Reasons Sheep are Better Than Women
Sheep don't have a gag reflex, or upper teeth
You can get a better grip on a sheep's ear
Sheep don't shy away from boots and leather
Cotton mouth is easier to get rid of than a social disease
Nuttin' beats mutton
Sheep won't argue about whose turn it is to go get a towel
Sheep won't drink your liquor, smoke your weed, snort your coke, and then tell you they have to be home early
Sheep never ask if you're ready to settle down
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Bear and Rabbit are side by side, shitting in the woods. Bear looks at Rabbit and asks, "Do you have trouble with shit sticking to your fur?" Rabbit says, "No, not at all." Bear picks him up and wipes his ass with him.
~~#~~#~~#~~#~~~#~~~#
One afternoon a little girl returned from school, and announced that her friend had told her where babies come from. Amused, her mother replied: "Really, sweetie, why don't you tell me all about it?" The little girl explained, "Well... Okay... the Mommy and Daddy take off all of their clothes, and the Daddy's thing sort of stands up, and then Mommy puts it in her mouth, and then it sort of explodes, and that's how you get babies." Her Mom shook her head, leaned over to meet her eye to eye and said, "Oh, honey, that's sweet, but that's not how you get babies. That's how you get jewelry."


A man went to visit his grandparents, and he noticed his grandfather
sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, wearing only a shirt, with
nothing on
from the waist down.

"Grandpa, what are you doing? Your weenie is out in the wind for everyone
to see!" he exclaimed.

The old man looked off in the distance without answering.

"Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the
waist?" he asked again.

The old man slowly looked at him and said, "Well...last week I sat out
here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This is your grandma's
idea."

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