The following answers were given by young children
to these questions:
Why did God make mothers?
Think about it, it was the best way to get more people.
How did God make mothers?
He made my Mom just the same like he made me.
He just used bigger parts.
Why did God give you your mother and not some other Mom?
God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
What kind of little girl was your Mom?
My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that other stuff.
How did your Mom meet your dad?
Mom was working in a store and dad was shoplifting.
What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him?
His last name.
Why did your Mom marry your dad?
She got too old to do anything else with him.
What's the difference between moms and grandmas?
About 30 years.
Describe the world's greatest Mom:
She'd always be smiling and keep her opinions to herself.
Is anything about your Mom perfect?
Just her children
What would it take to make your Mom perfect?
On the inside she's already perfect. Outside,
I think some kind of plastic surgery.
AMNESIA: Condition that enables a woman who has gone
through labor to make love again.
DUMBWAITER: One who asks if the kids would care to
FAMILY PLANNING: The art of spacing your children the proper distance
apart to keep you on edge of financial disaster.
FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when your baby doesn't appreciate the
FULL NAME: What you call your child when you're mad at him.
GRANDPARENTS: The people who think your children are wonderful even
though they're sure you're not raising them right.
HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
IMPREGNABLE: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
INDEPENDENT: How we want our children with older siblings.
OW: The first word spoken be children with older siblings.
PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry
shoes into it.
SHOW OFF: a child who is more talented than yours.
STERILIZE: What you do to your first baby's pacifier.
TOP BUNK: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.
TWO MINUTE WARNING: When the baby's face turns red and she begins to
make those grunting noises.
VERBAL: Able to whine in words.
WHODUNIT: None of the kids that live in your house.
WEEKEND: When Dad gets to play golf while Mom catches up to the laundry,
cleans the house, runs errands, etc.