Sunday Afternoon Stuff
You've all heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51?" Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their "secret" base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room. The pilot's story was that he took off from Vegas, got lost, and spotted the Base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air Force started a full FBI background check on the pilot and held him overnight during the investigation. By the next day, they were finally convinced that the pilot really was lost and wasn't a spy. They gassed up his airplane, gave him a terrifying "you-did-not-see-a-base" briefing, complete with threats of spending the rest of his life in prison, told him Vegas was that-a-way on such-and-such a heading, and sent him on his way. The next day, to the total disbelief of the Air Force, the same Cessna showed up again. Once again, the MP's surrounded the plane...only this time there were two people in the plane. The same pilot jumped out and said, "Do anything you want to me, but my wife is in the plane and you have to tell her where I was last night!"
In this particular branch of the Army's officer training school, the instructor was returning a test. The students identified their work by the last four digits of their Social Security number. In the early hours of a morning, the instructor was calling the numbers. "Four-seven-seven-zero?" he asked. "Here," replied one half-awake lieutenant-to-be. Taking the paper, though, he realized he had mistakenly asked for the wrong paper. "Seven-zero-seven-five?" asked the instructor. "Here," repeated the student, gearing for trouble. "I thought you were four-seven-seven-zero, soldier," spoke the teacher. "That's right, sir," answered our hero. "I have a nick-number."
Here are a few things to ponder (if you're not busy enough) !
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered
assassinated instead of just murdered?
If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny" for
your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were
buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be
a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up
like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
Why are you IN a movie, but your ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in
binoculars to look at things on the ground?
How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you
If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?