Google

Monday, May 15, 2006

Wanta Waste Some Brain Cells?


Free PDF Writer
http://www.acrosoftware.com/Products/CutePDF/writer.asp

Font Repository
http://www.wtv-zone.com/captainraider/font/fontmap.html

CCP Codes for PageBuilder
http://community-2.webtv.net/kdine/forms/index.html

Grandma's Apron
http://www.smilesr4u.com/apron05.htm

Brenda w/A Letter to Our Son
http://www.sassy4daze.com/Poetry/Poem022.html

Carol w/Childhood Friend
http://www.carolspoetry.com/hood.html

DarkBlueKnight w/Love Into Marriage
http://www.heartcreators.net/darkblueknight/loveintomarriage.html


Lava Caves
http://www.ewpnet.com/azores/caves.htm

Patriot Files
http://patriotfiles.org/HallOfHeroes.htm

Neuroscience for Kids - Synesthesia
http://faculty.washington.edu/chudler/syne.html


Yardcare.com . all that your yard can be
http://www.yardcare.com/

Save That Show.com ---Help save your favorite TV shows!---
http://www.savethatshow.com/



I was in my wills and trusts course when the professor posed this question to the students: Why do people choose to have their children, rather than their siblings, inherit their estate? After students offered various theories, one fellow raised his hand. "This may be a bit off the point," he said, "but when I was little, when my brother and sister finished playing with me, they would put me into a drawer."
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
A little old lady is on a bus, buying a ticket from the bus conductor, fumbling in a voluminous bag for the correct change. After 15 minutes the conductor becomes so enraged that he hits her on the head with the ticket-dispenser, and the poor old dear dies instantly. Not surprisingly, he is convicted and put on death row. Just before he is to be electrocuted, his last request is for 12 pounds of bananas, which he devours. They strap him into the chair, flip the switch, and he just sits there, smiling. According to tradition, this is considered a reprieve from God and he is freed. Somehow he gets his old job back, and he is happily dispensing tickets when he sees a girl stick her gum on the back of a seat on the bus. Enraged, he lunges out with the ticket dispenser, breaking the offender's neck and killing her. Again, he is convicted and sent to death row. He again eats the 12 pounds of bananas, and lo and behold, the electricity does not harm him. This time the executioner cleans the contacts, makes him sit in a bucket of water, he tries everything - but the conductor won't die. So again, he is set free. Amazingly he regains his job. It takes him 1 day to lose his temper and beat to death a young boy who starts to chew his bus ticket. He returns to death row, eats the bananas, and survives the electrocution. At this point, the executioner can take no more - his professional pride has been hurt. Before setting our friend free again, he asks him his secret - what is it with the bananas? Oh, the bananas have nothing to do with it, replies our friend. I'm just a bad conductor.
~~#~~#~~#~~#~~~#~~~#



Years ago, the chaplain of the football team at Notre Dame was a beloved old Irish priest. At confession one day, a football player told the priest that he had acted in an un-sportsman-like manner at a recent football game. "I lost my temper and said some bad words to one of my opponents." "Ahhh, that's a terrible thing for a Notre Dame lad to be doin'," the priest said. He took a piece of chalk and drew a mark across the sleeve of his coat. "That's not all, Father. I got mad and punched one of my opponents." "Saints preserve us!" the priest said, making another chalk mark. "There's more. As I got out of a pileup, I kicked two of the other team's players in a sensitive area." "Oh, goodness me!" the priest wailed, making two more chalk marks on his sleeve. "Who in the world were we playin' when you did these awful things?" "Southern Methodist." "Ah, well," said the priest, wiping his sleeve, "boys will be boys."
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
While taxiing at London Gatwick Airport, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727. An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming: "US Air 2771, where the hell are you going? I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference between C and D, but get it right!" Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically: "God! Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don't move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?" "Yes ma'am," the humbled crew responded. Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind. Tension in every cockpit out in Gatwick was definitely running high. Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking: "Wasn't I married to you once?"
~~#~~#~~#~~#~~~#~~~#

6 Comments:

At May 16, 2006 1:15 PM, Blogger Assorted Babble by Suzie said...

Run!!!...from the scales or to the kitchen. (LOL)

 
At May 22, 2006 3:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi! Just want to say what a nice site. Bye, see you soon.
»

 
At May 22, 2006 3:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your website has a useful information for beginners like me.
»

 
At May 22, 2006 8:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Really amazing! Useful information. All the best.
»

 
At May 22, 2006 8:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your website has a useful information for beginners like me.
»

 
At May 22, 2006 8:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Super color scheme, I like it! Keep up the good work. Thanks for sharing this wonderful site with us.
»

 

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home


Rate this post: (data provided from NewsGator Online)

This That and Frog Hair: Wanta Waste Some Brain Cells?






Celebrating the Blogs of Summer


 



Word of the Day
Website content provided by The Free Dictionary

Article of the Day
Website content provided by The Free Dictionary

This day in history
Website content provided by The Free Dictionary

Today's birthday
Website content provided by The Free Dictionary

In the News
Website content provided by The Free Dictionary

Quotation of the Day
Website content provided by The Free Dictionary

Match Up
Match each word in the left column with its synonym on the right. When finished, click Answer to see the results. Good luck!

 
Website content provided by The Free Dictionary

Hangman
Website content provided by The Free Dictionary

Google
 
This That and Frog Hair: Wanta Waste Some Brain Cells?
Enter your Email


Powered by FeedBlitz




Mesothelioma



Join the Blue Ribbon Online Free Speech Campaign
Join the Blue Ribbon Online Free Speech Campaign!