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Friday, May 19, 2006

Well He Ya Go

~~#~~#~~#~~#~~~#~~~#
1776 [if they had computers back then]

Mr. Jefferson: Gentlemen, the summer grows hot, and it is essential that
we complete this declaration of independence.

Mr. Franklin: Wait a minute, Thomas. I have to reboot here.

Mr. Jefferson: That's all right, Ben. We'll go on without you. Has
everyone
had a chance to look at the draft I posted yesterday?

Mr. Sherman: Not yet, Thomas, I've been having Notes replication
problems.

Mr. Adams: Here, Roger, I brought a hard copy

Mr. Sherman: Thanks, Saaaaay, nice font.

Mr. Adams: Do you like it? I downloaded it off Colonies Online just last
week.

Mr. Jefferson: Gentlemen! There is work to be done. I fear our document
will soon leak out.

Mr. Livingston: Too late, Thomas. There's already a bootleg circulating.
I
saw it posted on alt.georgeIII.sucks last night.

Mr. Franklin: @#$$%^$# General Protection Fault!

Mr. Adams: Ben, you might try upgrading to Windows 75. It solved that
problem for me.

Mr. Sherman: Thomas, the part here about the Acts of Pretended
Legislation; have you considered using bullets to air out the text?

Mr. Jefferson: I can fix that easily enough. Drat! I've spilled candle
wax on my keyboard again.

Mr. Adams: You know, Thomas, that wouldn't happen if you'd buy an
active-matrix screen.

Mr. Franklin: Hard-disk failure?!? Aw, criminy

Mr. Livingston: Are you sure it's "unalienable rights"? My spell checker
recommends "unassailable".

Mr. Jefferson: Can we stick to the substance of the document, please?
Shoot. Low battery. Anyone got a spare power cable?

Mr. Sherman: What have you got, a Toshiba? No, mine isn't compatible.

Mr. Franklin: Hello, PCs Philadelphia? What does it mean when the floppy
drive buzzes? OK, I'll hold.....

Mr. Livingston: The "In Congress" part here at the top; have you thought
about blowing that up really big and maybe centering it in 72 point
Helvetica?

Mr. Jefferson: Not a bad idea. Aw, nuts! Word macro virus! I can't save
the file.

Mr. Franklin: That's all right, Thomas. We can manage. Here, borrow my
quill pen....
~~#~~#~~#~~#~~~#~~~#
A woman goes into a store and buys a beautiful green and blue parrot.
But
the only words the parrot knows how to say are: "Who is it?" She takes
the
parrot home, but soon realizes that the bird's color clashes with the
living
room. So she calls an Interior designer, who says he will come by
shortly.
When the Decorator comes, the woman is out shopping. He knocks on the
door,
and the parrot says "who is it?" The man says, "It's the decorator." The
parrot says "who is it?" The man says "It's the decorator." The parrot
says
"Who is it?" The man says "It's the decorator!!!" The parrot says "who
is
it?" The man screams "The decorator!" The decorator gets so mad, that he
pops a blood vessel, and dies on the spot. The lady comes home and finds
a
dead man lying on her front porch. She says, "Oh my gosh...who is it?"
The
parrot replies, "It's the decorator!"






Your Daily Dose of Inspiration...

1. I can please only one person per day, today is not your day.
Tomorrow isn't looking too good either.

2. I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

3. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make
as they go flying by.

4. Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.

5. If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

6. Am I getting smart with you? ....How would you know?

7. I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the
guts to bite people themselves.

8. My Reality Check bounced.

9. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

10. I have not yet begun to procrastinate.

11. I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.

12. There are two rules for ultimate success in life.
1. Never tell everything you know.

13. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

14. Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without
it.

15. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and
taste good with ketchup.

16. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

17. Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.

18. How did people look busy at work before computers.

19. I hear voices in my head, they don't speak my language.

20. Every dog has his day, you missed yours.

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