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Sunday, July 16, 2006

List of Rules

*List of Rules
*The following list of rules applies to each person as they enter Oklahoma:

1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a pickup truck because I need to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

3. There are pigs, cattle & oil wells. That's what they smell like to you.They smell like money to us. Get over it.Don't like it? I-40 goes east and west, I-35 goes north and south. Pick one.

4. So you have an $80,000 dollar car. We're impressed. We have quarter-million dollar air conditioned tractors.We drive them 3 weeks a year.

5. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves is coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You had better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

7. Yeah, we eat catfish & calf-fries. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

9. We open doors for women. That is applied to everyone, regardless of age.

10. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.

11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and Pace Picante Sauce.

12. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet, served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

13. High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.

14. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit the water hazards - it spooks the fish.

15. Colleges? Try O.U. or O.S.U. (By the way Yankees, OSU does not mean Ohio State).
They come outta there with an education, a love for God, country, and they still wave at passing pickups when they come home for the holidays.

16. We send more folks to the Navy, Army, Marines, & Air Force than any other state. "Don't Mess with Okla." If you do, it will get your butt kicked by the best.

17. When folks in Oklahoma talk about having a PhD they're talking about their Post Hole Digger.

18. Always remember what our great governor EW. Marland once said: "Oklahoma can make it without the United States, but the United States can't make it without Oklahoma."

GOD BLESS OKLAHOMA!!!!!

Code of the west:
Never squat while wearing spurs!


I would have included pics from around the state but blogger is pms'ng again.

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